Truth Be Told

I mentioned this point on one of last week's TMNS (here) and promised to create a whole post on it. I wasn't sure if I should've continued the topic on TMNS or write it on Pep Talk instead. Obviously, I'm writing it on Pep Talk now because I feel it is also a good part of our Self Growth session. On this topic, I honestly cannot speak for the male community because I am not one and I don't know how they think but I'm sure some of you can pick a thing or two from this.

Embracing your singleness means you've whole heartedly accepted that this single status (acute or chronic) is yours to cherish and it won't kill you. During the course of my study, I've spoken to a number of ladies (younger, age-mate and older) and I realized that this embracing singleness of a thing is not particular to just the younger ones. Even the older ladies find it hard to accept that they are single. To be honest, I still don't know why but from my experience, I think it's the thought of not having someone to tell everything about your day or someone to tell you sweet nothings. For me, I probably felt that way when I was in my teenage years and that's semi allowed because well, teen right? But as you grow older, you have to place priorities on things and your singleness is not first on that list. If your singleness is causing you to have mood swings or be jealous of your taken (engaged, married or otherwise) friend, I'm sorry to tell you that you have it all wrong. Your journey to Self-Growth needs plenty revisiting, tracing your way back to where you got it wrong.

Yes, I totally understand that some ex relationships leave us distraught but that doesn't mean you should now pause your life because of it or enter a new relationship to avoid the singleness. Whether you like it or not, to be a better person, you have to embrace your singleness. Why? You love yourself more when you are single. Perhaps you think a relationship is a "do or die" affair, please dear one, it is not and don't do it for the sake of "having someone". Use that time and energy to develop yourself and know yourself better. Be a stronger version of the current you and pour all that love into yourself because when you finally start a new relationship, you need all that strength and love to be able to know when you should stay and when you should leave a relationship. Leaving won't scare you because singleness doesn't scare you. You've mastered the art of remaining single for the sake of your growth and not because "men aren't coming your way" or for the guys, "your type of woman is not in sight"

Last week (Self Growth), I already mentioned a number of ways you can grow and the best time for this is when you are single. You don't have 'distractions' from kids disturbing you upandan or a partner that wants to see you every day of the week. You have enough time for you!! How good is that? If you think you would grow better when a partner is supporting you or when kids are involved, who are you kidding? Not me sha. 

So ladies and gents, the point of it all is that you should love yourself when you are single and not look down on yourself. Nothing is wrong with you because of your single status and it doesn't matter how long you've been single for but how well you maximized that you-time!. Empower yourself, stay happy and positive, live life, travel, invest, experience greater things, love your family and friends, support your "taken" friends and focus on you! you! you!

Extra: Question..What do you think about the statement "Single till Married"?

Love,
Dedun
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Upandan -Up and down
Sha - Though

Is there really a perfect way to pray? If no, that is not what this post is about. If yes, that still is not what this post about. This post is for those that pray on a regular yet see no result and those that don't pray at all. I hope this helps someone. You won't believe what just happened as I was typing this intro. I decided to open my devotional and what do I see slotted for tomorrow? A topic about prayer! Lol we are in sync!.

Prayer is an act of obedience where you subdue by faith, your spirit, body and soul to the Holy spirit. Prayer is not just about asking asking asking and getting but it is an act of worship. You can have a whole prayer session without asking God for anything! You can say you know how to pray if you know that prayer is not just about receiving from God.

I will liken prayer to the substance in a thermometer (Mercury)..Imagine the thermometer is what you need to get out of and the heat the thermometer is subdued to is life's trials etc. The hotter it gets, the hotter the mercury gets too and guess what happens? The mercury can break the thermometer!! Maybe you didn't fully understand this analogy but what I'm trying to say is that your prayer life should be the hottest when you are down, when life is difficult! You can't remain on your knees and wait for the moment to pass away but pray in that position! And when life is chilled and everything is going your way, still pray! The mercury does not read zero now does it? It might not be as hot but it is still active!

I remember back in 2001 when my mum and I were returning to Nigeria from a summer break, we were almost at Lagos when the plane started swinging both ways! I kid you not, it was horrible. We thought we were going to die. I started to pray, I was just muttering words that I probably didn't understand too and when we landed my mum said to me "Dunmola, I didn't know you can pray". I also didn't know I could pray that well and for that long lol but what am I saying? It does not matter if you feel you are just muttering words and repeating the same thing over and over, just keep on praying! Even if it's "Thank you Lord" you repeat a million times, these moments are saving up and if you look back, you will realize how far you've grown in the prayer world. Nevertheless, the best scenario is to be hot in prayer when life is good and when life isn't. It even serves you better when your prayer life is not determined by the degree of temperature outside.

Another point is how long you pray for. I remember that rocked the internet world some weeks back when Pastor Adeboye said "If the woman cannot pray for more than 1 hour, don't marry her." Obviously people took this out of context and I was even more surprised that supposed Christians found a problem with this statement. Isn't that the beauty of the internet? You see people's true colors when it's time for "argument and slander". My take on that statement is this, If you cannot subdue yourself in prayer and disconnect from this world into the spiritual realm for a long time, there's a problem. If you are easily distracted when you pray, there is a problem. That said, you should also know these things take practice but I believe if you genuinely submit yourself in prayer and isolate yourself, you will pray for a long time that you won't even realize how long you've prayed for. Bottom line, ask God to show you how to pray and how to stay connected in prayer for a long time. No I'm not saying God will only answer your prayer when it's longer but you will see greater changes when you can converse with God in prayer.

Perhaps you have prayed for hours,days years and weeks and still see no result? It's either one of the two things, your faith is not connected to the source (Read about here) or God is taking His time to give you what you asked. If you are part of the percentage that don't pray at all but reading this post, I will like to encourage you to cultivate the habit of praying. Praying brightens your day, you become so optimistic about your day that negativity will have no place in your mind. One day at a time and you'd realize your life has been filled with positivity and thriving better than pre-prayer life.

Prayer is a weapon! Faith is a weapon! Now imagine both in your hands, you'd be powerful against the devil. One time last month when I was in the UK, on my way to visit my cousin I got lost. I had only been to her house once and that was more than a year ago. I had no internet, no UK sim and no map at all to find my way. I got down from the bus and couldn't recognize where I was. I just stood for a minute and prayed that God leads me to her house. I started walking, taking turns at streets and noting where I was incase I needed to retrace my steps. One last turn and I found myself on her street. I was really shocked. Believe it or not, that is the power of prayer interconnected with faith. When you've practiced the act of prayer and channeled your spirit to connect with the Holy spirit, simple and short prayers will be answered speedily.

Challenge yourself today, isolate yourself and remove all distractions. Pray for a longer time than you normally do. These things add up especially for times you can't pray for so long and can only say short prayers. Let's pump up our prayer life!

Love,
Dedun

• Brush at least twice a day.
• Have a minty chewing gum handy for when you've been quiet for a long time or eaten something that leaves a lingering smell like garlic.
• When you brush your teeth, don’t forget the tongue, it’s like making your bed and sweeping your room everyday but never mopping the floor.
• Some people swear by mouthwashes; I would say use an antibacterial mouth wash to get rid of any bacterial already there or keep them away.
• Flossing is something I am still struggling with, I just started doing it more often when I saw my friend do it. But it does go a long way to get those spaces in between your teeth that the tooth brush can’t get, this will get rid of food residues lurking around.
• It is advisable to see a dentist at least twice a year for a proper check and also a professional cleaning.

• You can decide that you do not want to remove hair from your legs or arms and I will make my peace with that, but when it comes to the under arms you just can’t do that, I mean you can but you really should not leave hair growing like a forest, when you sweat and it dries up, it lingers on the hair and that’s the beginning of your body odour. 
• Skipping deodorants is just suicide especially when it’s hot as hell. There are a lot of deodorants to choose from, sprays, roll-ons, stick deodorants, powder the list goes on, you just have to make a choice based on what works for you.
• Invest in one good perfume that you like, it does not have to be expensive, just to keep you smelling nice through the day. I always say really when it comes to personal care you need to experiment to find what works for you and you can keep up with financially.
• Keep your hygiene routine as simple as it can be, helps you keep up with it and also saves you time and money.

• Hair removal: Again how much hair you remove or whether you trim, shave or wax it all off is totally up to you. Personally I prefer to make kitty bald, wax it all off, now a lot of people cannot stand the pain and that’s fine. If you notice that you get razor bumps after shaving, maybe try waxing. I have to say that if you choose to wax, please choose a good salon, clean and sanitized.
• Keeping it Clean: I know they say the vagina is one Organ in the body that is self-cleansing, and a lot of girls take that as a permission to neglect kitty…my sister it will smell!!! While you need to wash kitty, you also need to be careful not to over wash her, I had a terrible case of kitty itching, I went to see a Gynaecologist and he asked how often I washed the kitty, I proudly answered at least 4 times a day and that’s a normal day, if am on my period I would wash at least 6 times a day…he was in shock! He said I was over doing it and washing away the natural flora that keeps the kitty’s pH balanced keeping it healthy so it bound to be infected easily.
• Water is just fine! Ditch the soaps, the strawberry flavoured vaginal washes, or the shower gels... seriously, no one is expecting your vjj to smell like strawberries and peach, she is supposed to smell like herself. All the soaps and scented washes are harsh for her and again that’s why you itch.
• When you pee, please ladies, I cannot stress this enough, wipe wipe wipe with an unscented tissue, if it means having one in your bag for when you need it please do, I sit next to some girls and I can literally smell them, just like pee smells on the ground or in the toilet if not flushed, it will smell on you too.
• When on your period, you have to take extra care of kitty, you cannot wear one pad for 8hrs or the whole day just because your flow is not as heavy. The ideal is to change your pad every 4hrs. I always have extra pads in my bag, a pack of unscented baby wipes and a clean pant. if you do not feel like carrying a big pack in your bag, you can always find travel sizes in stores.
• Panty liner should be every girl’s friend, keeps odours away because secretions do not land on your panties directly and you change them for a fresher feel. Just keep in mind that panty liners should be changed after 2hrs too.

I've journeyed through life so far with a couple of rules, one being, "Whatever you do, have no regrets or secrets". I've written about secrets before, you can find it here . Regrets and secrets are in the same sentence because they are both important factors when it comes to living life to the fullest. We all know the power that lies in secrets but most people don't pay attention when they say "I regret this, I regret doing that.." You are unconsciously building a hole filled with bitter emotions and anger. The day this hole fills up to the brim, you'd be distraught and won't know how to handle this overwhelming emotion. It could be a failed relationship/investment, an unspeakable action etc, but it is important to know that these things are what make us grow into better people.

There's no other way to put it other than, Regret is a burden!! Some may see a regret as a something they should never do again while some may see it as a trampoline that can propel them to something greater. For the former, if you say you would never do something again, it's dangerous because your greatness can lie in the situation you've labelled 'regret'. You live life on broken glass and tip toe because you don't want your feet to get hurt but you do realize your toes can get hurt right? So what's the point of tip-toeing? It's better you sweep the broken glass away, throw in the trash and walk freely on bare floor. You don't have to look back on the mistake you made but rather learn from it and know how to handle a glass so you don't break it again, instead of saying you would never use a glass again. This is how those who see regrets as a trampoline do better in life; by not dwelling on mistakes. They deal with the situation and march forward. 

As much as we have realized our mistakes, it helps to not dwell on them and form a list of regrets. Instead, write a list of things you should do better and not repeat the same mistakes again. The spirit of regret holds us back from achieving more. For instance, you just got out of a failed relationship and you begin to regret the good you did, the investments you put into the relationship or the mistakes you made in the relationship. Between you and I, would you want to do those good things in a new relationship? Well, that's if you actually don't build walls to avoid another relationship just because you regret the last one. Using relationships as an example again, I will honestly tell you it's tiring really. Putting your all into a relationship only for it to fail but one has to know that it is a two way thing. As much as you could have contributed to it's demise, just know that the other person also contributed to it too, accept your loss and move on. Grow out of those mistakes and become a better person instead of saying "I will never be in a relationship again, I will never give my all into a relationship again...bla bla."

Perhaps its a failed business, I might not have experience in the big investment kind of business but like I wrote above, if something fails, you try again! Figure out what you did wrong and do it right the next time! Don't just give up on a business idea because an attempt failed especially when it's something you are passionate about. Go back to the drawing board, re-plan and restart! Regrets produce quitters and quitters never win. 

Don't let a mistake either big or small steal your joy away. Be happy in every situation, live in the moment and when it's all over, you will look back and be appreciative of the past mistakes because instead of sulking on regrets, you chose to make it a turning point and become a better person.

No regrets zone!

Love,
Dedun

Yes I can bet my money on this fried rice recipe! Long long ago in a far away land, I didn't like fried rice. I later realized it was because of the unseasoned veggies. The first time I cooked fried rice and seasoned the veggies, I've not looked back on this recipe. So yes people, stock and seasoned veggies are the major keys to a perfect and delicious fried rice!

Last week when things blew out of proportion for the Banwos, it became apparent that Mrs Banwo needed to get to the bottom of both Ade's almost rape story and Dele's allegations that Mrs Banwo sold his past encounter to the press. If the press release didn't involve her, she wouldn't have bothered to involve the Police. For all she knows, she has been wrongly accused and won't take it lightly. Of course her husband, Ade's Dad, does not support her decision to involve the Police but Mama Ade just wouldn't bulge and accept defeat. Wait, defeat? Ok didn't know it was war here..

*At the Police Station*

Policeman: How can we help you Madam?

Mama Ade: Good afternoon to you too. I would like to file a complain for defamation and wrong accusation for which I would like an investigation carried out.

Policeman: Ah madam investigation? You never hear say economy too tight?

Mama Ade: How does that affect what I'm talking about here?

Policeman: We need to pay the investigators and you know say even fuel don high now. Everything don get price tag.

Mama Ade: I've never heard of this one before o. So are you telling me I have to pay before you can carry out an investigation?

Policeman: Na so.

Mama Ade: I think I should be talking to your superior

Policeman: He's not on seat madam. Na only me fit help you today. 

*Mama Ade dials her friend*

Mama Ade: Hello Charles, I came to the police station you directed me to and you won't believe what I'm hearing. This officer is telling me I have to pay to get an investigation done on the matter. 

Charles: You are kidding me! Why? 

Mama Ade: I don't even understand. He said they will use external investigators. Na wa o

Charles: I see. You will have to pay unfortunately. How much?

Mama Ade: Let me ask him. How much Oga police?

Policeman: Madam e get different category. From 25k to 100k. Na you go pick which 'wan' you want.

Mama Ade: *laughs loud* Did you hear that Charles? I will call you back. 

Policeman: You go pay? Wetin you wan make we check for you?

Mama Ade files her complaint and briefed the Policeman on what needs to be investigated.

Mama Ade: What's the account details? I will write a check. 

Two Weeks Later
*Phone rings*

Mama Ade: Hello?

Officer: Hello Madam. This is Sergeant Emeka calling from Olukoko Police Station. You filed for an investigation at our station two weeks ago and we have the result. 

Mama Ade adjusts her sitting position.

Mama Ade: Okay go on. What did you find out?

Officer: According to the security cameras, we found recordings of the morning you were at the Principal's office. 

Mama Ade: *impatient* What did you see? 

Officer: I will go on madam. We could not get hold of the audio so we can't tell exactly the moment when anything was said but according to the video, the Principal's secretary eaves dropped at some point during the meeting. She stood behind the slightly opened door for close to ten minutes. That's not all.

Mama Ade: Ms Vivian, the secretary is the culprit? It can't be so. Why would she eaves drop and sell Mr Beckley's story? It doesn't add up. 

Officer: After further investigations, we were able to get inside info on who leaked the story to the press. It turns out to be Ms Vivian. 

Mama Ade: Ah why? What evil is in this world?

Officer: We didn't stop there. We knew 'the why' would be asked so we decided to look into Ms Vivian's case. It turns out that a couple of years back, before Mr Beckley started his ministry, Ms Vivian was his mistress. 

Mama Ade: *Exclaims loudly!* So pe iro ni!!

Officer: Sorry ma, I don't understand Yoruba

Mama Ade: Don't worry. Is that all?

Officer: Yes Ma. We concluded that for her to stand behind the door for so long, she was desperate to get a story out of the meeting you had with the Principal. She must have sold the story to get back at Mr Beckley for dumping her after he became influential.

Mama Ade: Ese Officer but one last thing, is it possible to get everything you said written, stamped and sealed so I can prove my innocence on this matter. 

Officer: Yes you can. Please come to the station in two days. I will have it ready for you. 

Mama Ade: Thank you Officer. I will be there

*Mama Ade dropped the call in disbelief*

Mama Ade thinking out loud.

The evil that men do, while forever chase them! So does this mean Dele (Mr Beckley) cheated on his wife? And why was Ms Vivian hell-bent on getting a story out of that meeting? Karma has caught up with him. First thing I will do when I get that official report is to go to Dele's Office and show him the report. Arrant Nonsense! He even had the nerve to blame me for this. Ojigbijigbi!

______
So pe iro ni - Say it's a lie
Ese - Thanks
Ojigbijigbi! - Exclamation! (You usually say it while hitting your head with both hands, Papa Ajasco style :D)
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Previous Episodes
Click to Read Part 1
Click to Read Part 2
Click to Read Part 3
Click to Read Part 4
This post is Part 5

Hey guys, how is your week going? It's a new series on PTWD! Yay to Self Growth. For the next couple of weeks, we will focus on many ways one can grow and improve. As usual, the first post is always like an intro. So let's get into it.

What is Self Growth? In a few words, Self growth is moving positively from a current point to a better one. Basically, it's like climbing a ladder and at each stop, enhancing your life in every aspect.

What are the aspects you can improve on? Every part of you.

• Your Personality: Sometimes they say don't change who you are because you are perfect just the way you are. LOL except you are waiting for Bruno Mars to sing that to you, you need to ask yourself if you are the best version of yourself yet. How do you project yourself to others? Your personality goes a long way to becoming influential in life. If your personality stinks, every other thing around you will too. You will attract people who are like you and that's already a recipe for a disastrous life moving forward. In this journey of self growth, your personality is the most important. Fix that up and things will align. 

• Your Attitude and Thinking Capacity: What's your attitude like towards life? Do you believe that every minute of your life is important or do you procrastinate because after all tomorrow is there. You have to change your attitude and mindset on how you approach things in life. Don't be lackadaisical about things you are surrounded with. Are you comfortable been on the bottom of the ladder? Or are you reaching out for the top with all your might even when it seems so far? 

• Your Education: Do you just want a degree certificate just because or do you want it because you believe it is a great weapon to fight life's hurdles with? If it's the latter, I want to believe you are taking it serious and plan to achieve that feat at all cost. Like I wrote earlier, your personality and attitude will determine everything about you, your self growth and how far you go in life. 

• Your Financial Status: Are you okay with just a few bucks in your savings account or do you want to challenge yourself to increase your financial capacity? Part of Self growth is to reach out for more than you think you are capable of. You can't achieve more if you sit in your comfort zone and expect things to just fall on your laps. Except you are David Blaine (a magician), then you have to get up, develop plans and take that bold risk to get financial stability.

• Your Work life: Perhaps you prefer the 9-5 life, that still doesn't stop you to aim for more at that firm you are working with. Do you complain about closing time and look forward to leaving the office instead of putting all you've got into that job? If you are the whiner type, always complaining about office work, using the internet to socialize/watch flimsy shows instead of the work that you are getting paid for, then I see no way you'd improve yourself in that firm. People are watching your every step and listening to every word out of your mouth don't forget. You want that promotion? You have to work for it, even if it means getting to work earlier or leaving later than scheduled. Put in mind that even when your effort and reward seem not forthcoming, believe that it will definitely come when you don't give up and accept defeat. It might even not be at the firm you put all your effort into but at a different and better company. 

• Your Skills/Talents: And if you prefer to make a living with your talents/skills, you can only grow and improve if you put effort and time into developing your skills. Put yourself out there. If you don't, nobody will notice your progress. Luckily, the internet has blessed us with many channels we can use to improve our talents and skills. 

• Your Emotional Investments: You like living dangerous aye? Giving to Caesar what belongs to you/someone else. First and foremost, you have to invest in your personal emotional needs!! Get to know yourself and love yourself like no other in the process. If your emotional capacity is not filled up for you, how will you have any extra to give to someone else? And Secondly, don't make emotional investments with people that clearly don't care about you or your investment. You like bad boys/girls abi? Oya, Continuu

• Your Habits: There are some habits that will definitely hold you back from progressing in life. Bad association? Bad social habits? Addictions? Give priorities to your growth and less to fun. 

• Your Physical & Health: Take charge of your body. Don't let anyone tell you that being obese is the way to go after all you love yourself right? Yes feel beautiful but at the same time, put your health into consideration. Enlighten yourself with complications/side effects of whatever you put into your mouth. Be fit! Good health is underrated but you need it to enjoy all the self-improvement you've made so far and the one you will make in the future. 

• Your Confidence: Learn to own your confidence. Even when you feel you don't have any iota of confidence left, get into an acting role and assume that confidence. Self-Esteem/Respect is definitely not the least point here. It's as important as every other thing I've mentioned so far. If you lack this, people will trample on you. You will be disrespected many times and guess what you will do? You will accept it. Why? Because you have disrespected yourself by not respecting your being! People take whatever you give them. If you give them timidness and disrespect, they will take it and give you back in many folds.

I hope this was a good read. Please subscribe, comment and share. Stay tuned for the rest of the series.

Love,
Dedun
____
LOL - Laughing out loud
Aye - Yeah?
Abi? - Right?
Oya Continuu - (Sarcastic) Go ahead

My friend mentioned how she's not delving into a new relationship until after a year anniversary of her last breakup. *insert lmao here*. I'm here shocked like what? Why? Why are you particular about the exact time you are "fit" to start a new relationship. Does it mean if a potential partner comes sooner than a year post break up, you'd turn a blind eye and let him/her go? Anyway, the gist with my friend is still pending and I decided to use that topic for today's post. 

Yes I'm here once again to apologize for lack of TMNS today. Wish I could say I'd compensate with a post tomorrow but please permit me this absence today. Don't leave yet, I've compiled some awesome posts you can catch up with below...

Story Series Collection: Written By me.. Unfold is still a developing series and Miss Random's Dairy has been concluded.

Miss Random's Diary

Unfold 

Ideal Relationship Goals:

10 Signs You Are In A Good Relationship

Relationships in Uni

Love God:

He Comes First

Faith Explained

My Story:

Journey Back to God | Confessions of A Sinner

These should help you stay connected to the blog today. While you are at it, pleeeeaaaase give me extra 3 minutes of your time to fill the survey below.. Help me to give you more inspiring content and be a better writer/blogger... God's blessings.

Survey

Love,
Dedun

I know most people don't like using beans flour for anything but for me, I have no choice because I don't like the beans they sell here. I've used this recipe for a long time and it's amazeballs. It might not be like the original made with beans from scratch but it's equally delicious. The only new change here is I used a mixer to whisk in air so it can be fluffy. Don't worry, if you don't have an electric mixer, you just have to do some hand work and whisk in air for longer time. Say 10mins? Lol sorry ehn.

After Mrs Banwo's shocking revelation, the news got out to the press and became a big scandal for Mr Beckley, Pastor and Founder of God is Good Ministries.

*Phone rings*

Mrs Banwo: Hello?

Mr Beckley: Titi are you happy now? Years have passed and still your verbal diarrhea has not healed. Are you happy that you've said your mind and in turn sold the news to the press? I admitted that I was wrong back in those days but you and your friend, Seun, still won't forgive me. I was just calling to say thank you and God bless

Mrs Banwo: What do you mean by I sold your news to the press?

Mr Beckley: Are you playing dumb with me now, Titi?

Mrs Banwo: Dele, you've insulted me twice in 1 minute of this phone call. I'm a grown woman and I'm telling you I didn't sell any news to the press. I'm busy here trying to solve my daughter's alleged rape story and you are calling me to blame me for something I know nothing about?

Mr Backley: Are you telling me you've not read today's news paper?

Mrs Banwo: Oh Dele, please please and please. For the last time, I know nothing about what you are talking about. 

*Mr Beckley hangs up*

Later that evening.

Mr Banwo: Mama Ade, Have you read the news today?

Mama Ade: No, I haven't 

Baba Ade: *laughs hysterically* Your university crush has been exposed. I knew it! All these pastors nowadays that just become popular out of nowhere and everyone forgets their pasts. 

Mama Ade: Dele? What did they say he did?

Baba Ade: That he's a rapist. 

Mama Ade: Ah mogbe. I didn't say that.

Baba Ade: What do you mean by that? Did you have anything to do with this?

Mama Ade: Eermm what happened was that. errrm. Few days ago when I was at the Principal's office, I mistakenly blurted out that Dele attempted to rape my friend. I only said attempt o. I didn't call him a rapist. 

Baba Ade: Aaaaaaahhh Titi? Don't I always warn you to watch what you say in public? Ah Titi so who sold the news to the press? You too?

Mama Ade: *sober* No I didn't I swear.

Baba Ade: Who did?

Mama Ade: It's only the principal that was there when this happened.

Baba Ade: Wo, That's not my problem. Sha bring my food let me eat jor. 

Ade's mum walks out of the room close to tears. She swears she didn't contact the press and is confused how it got out. Thinking if she should call the principal and ask or should she also ignore? No, she can't because Dele (Mr Beckley) also thinks she's the culprit. She needs to find out how it got out.

*Dials Principal's number*

Mrs Banwo: Good evening Principal, I'm sorry to bother you. It's Ade's mum, Mrs Banwo on the line. 

Principal: Good evening Mrs Banwo. How can I help you today?

Mrs Banwo: I'm sure you've heard the scandal that broke out today about Dele, Mr Beckley. I was wondering if it's as a result of what I said in your office and I'm sorry, if you were the one that released the story. 

Principal: Wow I'm shocked Mrs Banwo. Yes I heard the news but I'm certain it didn't come out of my office. We are an institution for Christ's sake, training children to do right, I wouldn't stoop so low to sell a story I'm not sure of to the press for some change. 

Mrs Banwo: I'm sorry again but I had to ask because Dele thinks I sold the story.

Principal: I understand your need to ask me but once again, I'm not involved in this. 

Mrs Banwo: Ok thanks. 

*Hangs up*

Mama Ade: *murmurs* What's the meaning of this rubbish? From Ade almost getting raped that I'm still trying to solve to this new one that I'm been accused of. Can I just get a break? *Hiss* 

__________
Translations
Mogbe- I'm in trouble
Wo - look
Jor - Please

Collection of the series can be found here 

I'm rounding up the Friendship series with this post. Now we know how to be better friends and how to spot the ones that won't benefit us in any way. With these FBI skills, let's include How to make new friends.

• Be open minded: Some people probably have a list of places they'd rather not meet people talk-less of make friends with them.(eg. social media) but I have an old friend I met on Hi5 (That social network that came after BeBo *Tears*) and we are still friends till today. You just never know where you'd meet awesome people. Even the conventional way of meeting people is dying now because it's no guarantee for you to meet a potential awesome friend. 

• Know the kind of friend you need: You need to have discernment here. It's not everyone you meet will be ideal for you so figure out the kind of friends you need and the kind you'd be helpful to. 

• Be approachable: This point is funny to me because right from high school I've been told I have a resting frown face and because of that I'm not approachable. Let me just clear that thought now. My facial muscles just like to have their own mind and fire on sometimes but if you approach me regardless and I dismiss you, then you can say Dedun is not approachable. Anyway, be approachable in the sense that don't dismiss greetings from afar, smile at people, wave if you have to etc. 

• Don't judge based on appearance: Sometimes we find gold in muds, sometimes we can buy them in shops but whatever way, it's still gold and treasurable. So because the nice person that approached you had a bad hygiene or dressed like a rainbow doesn't mean you should judge that he/she would be a negative in your life. You never know who is who solely based on outward appearance. 

• Don't wait to be approached first: Don't sit on a high horse and expect people to flood to you because 'you are approachable'. Sometimes, make the first move. Strike a convo with someone sitting next to you. The only problem with this might be language barrier or after the first hello, you get dismissed. 

• Don't be too introverted: Don't sit in a corner when in a crowd of people.  Sometimes it's good to keep to yourself especially if the vibe is not your type but like I said before, you just never know where you'd meet awesome people. 

The second part is how to keep the new friend(s) you've made

• Keep in touch: Don't just make a friend and ignore them till he/she messages you. Reach out too. 

• Make plans to meet up: It could be for coffee or dinner, just put them in your plans. Don't be an island. If the friend is far away, then plan video calls date and all that nice stuff. 

• If in the gathering of other friends, make friends with them too: Strike convos with your new friend's friends too. The social circle can grow that way. Don't act like it's just you and your new friend in a room full of other people.

• Open up to your new friend: You don't have to start with the deep stuff but simple things just to hear what they think and that way you'd know their thinking process. 

Yay so here we go. What do you think about the friendship series? Helpful? Enlightening? You can add more points in the comment section below. Thanks for reading. What would you like me to talk about in the next Pep Talk series?  Please fill my survey here. Click me

Love,
Dedun

Throughout my journey in Medical school and it's never ending exams, I've had people say to me when I complain about how not ready I am for a test/exam, "Dumz Izzinor you again? You will just go there and pass the exam". I just smile and tap the prayer o because who wants to fail? It makes me wonder how I actually end up passing the exam despite my little preparation (or so) for it. Of course it's not like I've not failed exams before, I can't actually count the number of times I've failed tests or exams (especially the ones I was ready for). Now this brings me to the question I asked myself one fateful evening. "How come I always pass an exam when I think I'm not ready for it?" I've thought about this question for so long and fortunately I finally have my answer. Want to know? Continue reading.

You should know by now that I am a very bold lady, and this boldness was used to full capacity during exam periods. I had a motto "Don't deregister for an exam if there's no extra time to put into it". This motto pushed me so far that even when I was not ready for an exam, I would go for it with little fear and so much hope/faith that I will not fail it. If I compare it to times I was ready for an exam and failed, the difference here is the faith I had. I believed deep down only God can come through for me. I didn't allow doubts to contaminate my faith. Trusting in one's readiness for a big opportunity/test causes over confidence and little faith in God's help to see you through it and in return, failure. It's that type of failure that hurts more because you know you put much effort in it and got nothing tangible in return. Before I bore you with my long story, let me explain FAITH to you.

Now you know how to charge your faith but believe me, it doesn't end there. Charging your faith is just step two. Have you heard of "Faith without works is dead"? James 2:17-20 mentioned this. Putting your faith to action is step 3.


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Izzinor - Is it not
Jusslaidat - Just like that

Bisola Famakinwa
A med student that loves 
to write on non-med topics