Guest Post: The Side 'Chick' Syndrome
1:09:00 PM
I honestly don't understand why a lady will settle for less but this has been trending for ages now and I feel like it's something that should honestly stop. How can one be comfortable with being number 2, a back up? It's outrageous how the society has accepted this crazy thing and it's almost like you are out of style if you are not a side chick or judgmental because you can't wrap your head around it. There so many reasons why a lady, who will eventually become a wife and mother, shouldn't be a side chick but let's see reasons why people think it's okay.
Over the past few years I have heard so many reasons why people settle for side chick position. The number one reason I have heard over and over again is for the cash. I get that some people don't have much and they can't afford some things. Don't we all want someone to spoil us silly? The most baffling thing here is these same people will feel insulted when compared to sex workers. Truth is, fingers are not equal and for you to get the best out of life, you have got to put your best into all you do. No one gets rich in a day, they all started really small. Great people started with a small capital; some even start as a hobby and eventually they start earning millions from it. Believe in your passion, work hard at it at all cost and you won't have to depend on another man for cash that's only temporary.
Other times, people come up with excuses like “I just fell for him, he is everything I want in a man”. I have also heard this one severally but the truth is we all smell danger when we see one except we want to ignore the signs. He has all the qualities you want but someone else has that same quality. He’s someone’s MAN, whether married or not. How would you feel if it was you? Well, except you have no conscience whatsoever. You stand by a man from when he was nothing to when he became something and someone starts messing with your relationship and you have to share your man with someone else or perhaps will you be happy if you found out your mum is going through that with your dad? Now imagine if the man you are with already has kids and his children find out daddy is cheating on mummy with you. It hurts really and there's no amount of cash or lust that can justify you contributing to a broken home/relationship.
We don’t really consider the repercussion of some of the decisions we make and we need to start thinking of the consequences of our actions before we push forward with them. Some people even think they get the benefits of being a girlfriend without the drama involved but they are forgetting about the jealousy part of this. Some even think he isn’t lying to them not realizing if he can cheat with you, he probably already has other girls in the mix aside from you and peradventure he eventually says you are the main chick, theres high probably he will cheat on you too after all you got upgraded from side chick level. The funniest one is the girl that think he’s leaving his wife but guess what? He isn’t leaving her no matter how bad he paints her. He would only use you then leave you and move on to the next available girl.
The reason for this bizarre act is endless but the fact still remains that being a second choice shows no self worth. Imagine this, You are all dressed looking extremely beautiful for your introduction ceremony and you walk into the sitting room and you realize you have been hooking up with your future husband’s uncle. We all know how that story ends. This is even a good ending if you ask me. What if he was using your destiny to give you money for the Brazilian hair? What if you life is cut short because he was using that for his riches? It's not just in movies these things happen but in reality too. We don't know what happens behind closed doors in people's lives.
Don't think you are too smart to get caught and remember that each time you step out with the guy, you are messing with your reputation. Your reputation is key to advance in life. Don't be deceived with the saying that "don't care what other people say". This doesn't apply when you are morally wrong, it lives with you for life. Social media has made things a lot easier and the world smaller and if you don’t care about your reputation you should care about your sanity. The guy leaves you whenever he gets a call from his wife/girlfriend, he gives his wife or girlfriend excuses for where he is and you are either laughing at the folly of the wife/girlfriend or happy you finally have him for that time slot. Are you now a late night job? Or his barbing saloon? Or even a late meeting with the boss? Or his client?
As a lady I think you should focus on yourself and your goals, build your confidence, career and self esteem. Get what you want out of life without depending on the riches of others, without breaking relationships/homes and in the end you will get married without having to look back to see if any side chick is chasing your husband, without being paranoid that your husband could be cheating on you.
Oloyo Ayodele
Blogs at
Ayodeleoloyo.blogspot.com
Oloyo Ayodele
Blogs at
Ayodeleoloyo.blogspot.com
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