Today, I'm struggling with what to write for the friendship series. I don't know why but my head space on this topic is upandan. I feel like if I write about How to spot bad friends, my last post already summarized that and if I write how to spot good friends, the last post also mentioned that so please epp me! You probably don't know but 95% of my posts are spontaneous. I start with one word and the rest flows but today just wants to be stubborn. Here's the link to last week's post Are We Friends?

*After waking up*

Ehn ehn so I'm back to this friendship topic and I'm going to tell you how to be a real g! A real one for your friends. I feel if everyone learns how to be a better friend, the friendship world would be a better place. Be aware that I'm not a perfect friend but I'm writing this based on my failures and successes as a friend.

• Pay attention to your friends: See, nobody trusts anyone these days and even people that claim to be friends in public don't trust their friends enough to tell them all they are going through. I know one is busy living life with it's hurdles, but it's necessary to pay attention to your friends. You can tell from their body language, moods and topics they choose to talk about that it's stems from a bigger place (of hurt perhaps). When I was down couple of years ago, I wished my friends had paid attention to me. No I don't blame them for ignoring my hurt especially since I always told them I was fine but if they really focused on why they thought I wouldn't be fine, they could've helped in the long run, as friends should.

• You should always care: This 'care' is quite broad because you can show your care, depending on the individual, in many ways. Caring for your friend means you are there for them when they need you, you correct them from a place of love when they are wrong and you listen when they talk (even if it doesn't make sense).

• You support their goals: And if you feel the plans to achieve that goal is not the right way, let them know instead of keeping it in. It doesn't necessarily mean you are right/wrong about that approach but at least, you mentioned it to them and gave a solution. Don't just mention a problem without solution. You can't tell me I'm doing something wrong without telling me how to do it right. 

• Spend on each other: Friendship is also a relationship but some friends barely spend on their supposed friends. However, they can spend all their money on their partner. When you now break up, is it not your friend you will run back to? mshew Buy gifts, either on birthdays or randomly. Go for quick drinks/lunch. Spice up the friendship. Travel. Don't be a stingy friend.

• Don't be a fake one: If you are only friends with them in their presence but frenemy in their absence, you need to be dumped in a sewage. 

• Grow together: Pull them up if you are ahead and if you are below, aspire to reach their level and ask for help when you need to be pulled up. Best friendship goal is when everyone is winning in life. Growing together can be financially, spiritually, etc

• Pray for and with them: We all need prayers, if you can't pray with and for your friends, y'all just joking. (Who's praying for me btw?)

• Tell them when they've wronged you: This point is one I'm still learning to be honest. I've mentioned before that I'm a keep-quite-when-you've-been-wronged kind of person. I just don't like arguments and when I know telling you about something you did will lead to argument, I take the L even before the argument starts but yeah I'm trying to be more vocal about my feelings now. Keeping it in doesn't help the parties involved. 

• Be a shoulder they can lean and cry on: Some people just want that friend that no matter how much they offend them, they can always go back to them for help, to talk to them etc. 

• Don't give up on your friends: I've been guilty of this a couple of times but moving forward, I  won't give up except when our lives are no longer on similar paths and my reason is because if our lives suddenly become completely different, it's apparent that the friendship won't work. I mentioned this last week. I will still pray for you whether we remain friends or not because that's just who I am.