I mentioned this point on one of last week's TMNS (here) and promised to create a whole post on it. I wasn't sure if I should've continued the topic on TMNS or write it on Pep Talk instead. Obviously, I'm writing it on Pep Talk now because I feel it is also a good part of our Self Growth session. On this topic, I honestly cannot speak for the male community because I am not one and I don't know how they think but I'm sure some of you can pick a thing or two from this.

Embracing your singleness means you've whole heartedly accepted that this single status (acute or chronic) is yours to cherish and it won't kill you. During the course of my study, I've spoken to a number of ladies (younger, age-mate and older) and I realized that this embracing singleness of a thing is not particular to just the younger ones. Even the older ladies find it hard to accept that they are single. To be honest, I still don't know why but from my experience, I think it's the thought of not having someone to tell everything about your day or someone to tell you sweet nothings. For me, I probably felt that way when I was in my teenage years and that's semi allowed because well, teen right? But as you grow older, you have to place priorities on things and your singleness is not first on that list. If your singleness is causing you to have mood swings or be jealous of your taken (engaged, married or otherwise) friend, I'm sorry to tell you that you have it all wrong. Your journey to Self-Growth needs plenty revisiting, tracing your way back to where you got it wrong.

Yes, I totally understand that some ex relationships leave us distraught but that doesn't mean you should now pause your life because of it or enter a new relationship to avoid the singleness. Whether you like it or not, to be a better person, you have to embrace your singleness. Why? You love yourself more when you are single. Perhaps you think a relationship is a "do or die" affair, please dear one, it is not and don't do it for the sake of "having someone". Use that time and energy to develop yourself and know yourself better. Be a stronger version of the current you and pour all that love into yourself because when you finally start a new relationship, you need all that strength and love to be able to know when you should stay and when you should leave a relationship. Leaving won't scare you because singleness doesn't scare you. You've mastered the art of remaining single for the sake of your growth and not because "men aren't coming your way" or for the guys, "your type of woman is not in sight"

Last week (Self Growth), I already mentioned a number of ways you can grow and the best time for this is when you are single. You don't have 'distractions' from kids disturbing you upandan or a partner that wants to see you every day of the week. You have enough time for you!! How good is that? If you think you would grow better when a partner is supporting you or when kids are involved, who are you kidding? Not me sha. 

So ladies and gents, the point of it all is that you should love yourself when you are single and not look down on yourself. Nothing is wrong with you because of your single status and it doesn't matter how long you've been single for but how well you maximized that you-time!. Empower yourself, stay happy and positive, live life, travel, invest, experience greater things, love your family and friends, support your "taken" friends and focus on you! you! you!

Extra: Question..What do you think about the statement "Single till Married"?

Love,
Dedun
____
Upandan -Up and down
Sha - Though