Guest Post: One Way Friendships
12:05:00 PM
One way friendships usually stem from one party taking the other party for granted, usually some form of disrespect could be involved or one party is just no longer interested in the friendship. I believe friendship is supposed to be a two way thing that's why people that make the statement 'you just forgot me' or 'you've not even called me since' actually make me laugh because in my head I'm like, 'you have my number' and more-over, there are various social media platforms you can use to contact whoever you're looking for so I don't think you should be expecting someone to make the effort while you just sit back and do nothing. If you thought about me but decided not to check up on me because I haven't messaged you, we might as well call off the 'friendship'
Personally, I'm someone who takes friendships pretty seriously and with my friends I'm more interested in what I can add to their lives and not necessarily what I can get from them and that's where wisdom comes in so I don't get taken for granted. If I notice that I'm the only one making the effort to keep the friendship intact, before I make any drastic decision like cutting the person off, I'll talk about it with that friend. I'm really big on communication in friendships and to be honest I don't really know how to keep something that's bothering me to myself. Probably the friend has a reason for behaving why he/she is behaving, you never know. But if after talking, the friend doesn't change then I have a good reason to just keep my distance from the friend and start reducing the amount of effort I put in the friendship.
The friend might notice the distance I'm keeping or the friend might not. If it's the latter then said friend doesn't really care about the friendship and that'll be my cue to just accept the possible demise of the friendship and waka pass. I don't believe in keeping malice or grudges, I'll just keep the friend at bay without having any form of hate or anger at least for my own peace of mind. I'll just take it as maybe we weren't meant to be friends after all or our purpose in each other's lives has been accomplished. The beauty in talking to the friend when things are going downhill with the friendship, is to give yourself the satisfaction that you did your best to save the friendship.
That's just my opinion because I don't think anybody wants to feel cheated or should be cheated in a relationship (yes friendship with same or opposite sex is a relationship), so in such a situation just save yourself from the unfairness, love yourself enough to know you deserve a better friend. Friends are supposed to be able to add to each other's lives and just make the world a better place to live in. Don't be scared to lose anybody especially if the person doesn't acknowledge how great a person you are and your inputs to make the friendship an awesome one. Instead take it as a sign that there's something better to come your way and keep being the great person that you are. Do not let sour situations taint your good heart.
These were my thoughts and I'm open to learn from other people through your comments on this topic. 😊
Bisola Famakinwa
A med student that loves
to write on non-med topics
0 comments
You know I'd love to hear from you. Please comment. Mwah