Happy Midweek everyone. On today's Pep Talk With Dedun we are still on relationships but I will be answering a question asked by a reader. If you are new to the blog please check this column to catch up on the relationship talk. This was her question

"What's your opinion on romance and kissing especially for Christians?"

I remember the first Uncoated Truth program we had, this kissing question came up a lot. I like that she said especially for Christians. As christians, we already know fornication is a sin and we also know we were instructed that if anything causes us to sin we should cut it off (Matthew 18: 8-9). The point of this blog is for me to be as open and as honest as I can be and I will tell you first hand that I've kissed everyone I've ever dated. Lol don't be alarmed, you can count them with the fingers on one hand. Going forward though, especially in line with the fact I'm not the same person I was just two months ago, I would resist from any open window/chance for the devil to have a foot hold in my life. In other words, if kissing would cause me to delve into the other activities, I will not kiss. It's better to completely avoid something than to test the waters and cry foul tears when the hot water pours on you. Sometimes we feel we are in control but trust me on this one, you are not in control when you  start kissing. Your emotions/dopamine levels are and that makes it easier to let go of your boundaries.

I asked a friend what he thought about the question and this was his response: 

"As a man, I can be aroused. Some people are aroused by as little as looking at a woman, and others by touching. I think the question should not be if kissing is okay, but rather, what's my limit as to the things that arouse me. When you find your arousal limits, you and your partner have to work together to uphold set boundaries. I've heard of people that can be aroused by a mere hug from someone they're attracted to or by holding hands. So the limits need to be set as early as possible in a relationship. If I know my partner is aroused by touching, then I must protect my partner and limit physical contact"

In a nutshell, if it's not glorifying God, don't do it. Please God and not your flesh. It's difficult I know but no genuine fulfillment comes from doing easy things.

Love,

Dedun