Truth Be Told

I kept thinking I could do it on my own
No need for no man, god, idol
I don't care about all that.
I've been successful without them
Call me Miss independent.
I've been built to be alone
Call me Miss forever alone
I aint got time for heart breaks
Living my life
So when he came to start preaching about something I don't know
I found that strange, absurd.
Does he know who I am?
Was?
Who is God?
Who is He?
Came to give me life huh?
But I had life without Him.
I don't get it.
Ok long story
Fast forward
I understood who the Father is. Has been.
Now how do I find myself?
How do I find myself in Him?
Without considering my earthly worth
My hard work.
What if I lose them all?
Will that be the end of me?
But I choose to see it this way.
It'll be the end of me in the world
In material things.
In making myself a god.
And start a new me
In the father.
My Father.
He chose me
And truly gave me life.
So what is your identity?
Who do you identify with?

Hello beloved Readers, I Hope you've made that plan now...If you haven't please do so NOW. Its very important and I don't want you to forget.

Today's post was recited in Church by me a while back and as usual, I forgot to post it here. Was looking through my Journal a few minutes ago and found it. I hope it ministers to someone. Just One person and it's destiny is fulfilled. Enjoy.

*****
I know what you are doing
Undressing him
Trying to see through the opaque nine packs
Yes that's the fact
Stripping down his clothes
In exchange for your soul.
After satisfying your hunger and thirst
You are full of dirt and cursed.
Snap back into reality
And listen to me.

Troublesome and stubborn heart
Yeah that's the definition for this piece of God's art
Heart always yearning for revenge
Always planning to avenge
When done wrong.
It claimed to be strong
But yet showed weakness
Claimed to be humble
But yet always fumbled.

It has its reasons
When you've gone through every season
Of heartbreak and deceit
Always reaching out to those men that wanted it
Little did it know
That all they wanted was its redundant growth.

REST

He said,

I opened my eyes
Trying hard to defeat the power of sleep with mine
Finally awake at this late hour
Still I rise.
Jumped into the shower and


Ok Let's rewind.
I'm not here to tell you about my daily routine.
I'm here to let you in on a scene
So you don't get left behind.
You see,
There's this issue that been on my mind.
It might come as a surprise
But I'll still share it with you.

"I know you inside and out.
You are not cold
You are not hot
Far better to be either cold or hot
You are stale, You are stagnant
You make me want to vomit
You brag, "I'm rich, I've got it made; I need nothing from anyone"
Oblivious that in fact
You are a pitiful blind beggar
Threadbare and homeless
You are shameless
And yet proud of it.

You claim you love me
Yet at times
You are embarrassed to admit it.
That love is bipolar
North signifying how high and devoted the love can attain.
South signifying how you can swim, calmly
In the ocean of your profane ways.
Surprisingly, not so,
You know how to balance both at the equator.

Who to trust?
In a world filled with so much hate
Where people despise you for no just reason
Where you unconsciously want people to like you
Where you would like to be on "everyone's" good list
Even when you know it's far fetched
You still reach out for it
But all efforts are futile
It's like trying to find the end of a rainbow.

Here I am,
Trying to trust the one
Who's meant to be my lover my best-friend
The one who supposedly swept me off my feet
And got me falling head over heels.
The one who's shown me everything,
Every thing I needed to know.
How could I treat him this way.
All he's ever asked for,
Love and trust,
I can't seem to give the latter.
But how can there be love and no trust?

When the world's shut down
When the world's still
When the world's drowned
When the earth spills
But my heart still beats
Like a functioning drum
And a broken string
From an abandoned violin.

I sit in tears
Like a rock in an overflowing river
I'm waiting for someone to care
Even when I know there's no-one there.
No one willing
To dive into the depth of the mighty ocean
Blue and clear as it may be
I decided to take the leap
I could sense the fear of the unknown
Or should I say known?
From the only invisible companion I know,
My alter ego.

She's telling me to take a leap
Into the depth she's foreseen.
She knew it was dangerous
But yet she gave me assurance
With every ounce of fear,
That she will be there
When I need to call on someone dear.

Then I snapped back.
Remembered that it's just me.
I'm all alone.
Once again.
In a world where it rains pain,
All day
All week, all year
And the cycle goes
Again and Again.

Out of nowhere,
I gained company.
He was so precious I could look at him
All day and not complain.
He bore the same pain.
With no motive of gain,
We shared them.
That moment was when I realized
It was all I needed.

The river's dry
The ocean's shallow.
No more needs to cry
I see my halo,
Shining like the Sun.
The world's alive.
The world's moving.
That, that I say,
Was just a phase!

Dear God,

Sure you are wondering,
Pondering on what it is
I want to write about.
Well, I'm certain
that You are aware
Of my pains and hurt.
Times when tears gush out.
Like water from an angry fountain.
Times when I searched North and South
For someone, just anyone, to listen to me.
All these while, I seemed to scream
At souls and bodies that were deaf to my calling.

Raped at seven.
Introduced to a strange world at eleven.
What more could a less-than-a-teenager
Go through to make that even.
My parents could not hear me and
It seemed the world was shut down around me.
I did not know at that time that
My source of comfort would have been
The bread of Heaven.
I remained a dough without leaven.

Age twelve, I threaded on the path of homosexuality.
It seemed right then because of the environment I was in.
I wasn't aware of how bad it was due to my inability
To get acquainted with You.
This went on for years until i finally met You at twenty.
The experience.
(Silence)
I can't describe it but I can testify
That You turned my in-capabilities and iniquities
To wondrous and great blessings.

That was when I realized that the masculinity
I created for myself in replacement of the femininity
You gave to me,
Was the reason behind my infirmity.
I was weak in You physically,spiritually.
I had made myself feeble, voluntarily.
I let Satan use me, willingly.
He tricked and deceived me into thinking what
I was doing, was right.
But now all that has changed.
Living testimony that God does give people turning points.
The only thing is,
One can decide to accept it or not.

Twenty Eight now.
Living a good life
With God, husband and kids.
All I did was tell a story untold.
A story from an unspoken voice.

Moral of story:
Don't be deceived. Satan can use anyone of any age for his works.
God's the key.