Truth Be Told

 I hope everyone's been doing fine and okay. I don't really blog that much these days. I've been lost, school and all. Anyway it was my birthday yesterday and I absolutely thank God for a successful completion of 365days!!! Thank Him for still keeping me alive..and I know that next year is around the corner and I shall be well and good to witness the next birthday and many others. I recited a poem in church yesterday but unfortunately, I was too busy yesterday and couldn't post it on my blog. It would have been cool if I had a birthday post though. Next year's another time. Yesterday was great even though my mood changed coz of the weather.. the weather ruined my plans and all but I'm glad that I still had a party and plenty people showed up to appreciate me. Thank You guys and God bless you loads!! Without further ado, I'll post the poem up in a bit and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the recitation. God's with you all. Bless.

xoxo

KD.

"Ma'am I'm sorry but you have cancer.

Stage III ovarian cancer"

Chemotherapy next?

Yes that should be the answer

Thought that was the end of me.

Will I finally be free?

Or helped and caged

Once again?

Trapped by the bonds

Holding me down

Even when I try to abscond

With this disease

It won't let me drown

But yet it freezes me

It seized me for a while

Then returned me when it was done

The painful effects of chemotherapy.

"Hello, I'm Chris."

"Hi Chris, I'm Amarie. Nice to meet you"

"Nice to meet you too. I hope you wouldn't mind dashing across the road for a cup of coffee, Miss"

"No I wouldn't. Was just on my way for that"

That was how our good friendship started. From friends to lovers, it was a marvelous journey with Amarie (I call her Marie though).  One, two, three, four years after the day we met, I realized I had found the one for me and started planning towards a proposal. My plan was to propose by writing the words on the beach sand. She had always told me she didn't want any extravagant proposal or wedding so I thought the beach, our favorite place to hang out, was perfect, and writing on the beach sand was somewhat romantic. I got help from someone to write it for me because there was no way I could have gone to the beach without her. As a terribly smart woman, she would have suspected. On getting to the beach, I could see the wonderful setting under a tent for us, she had no clue it was for us. When we got nearer, rain started pouring down with anger. I was very certain I checked the weather forecast the day before and there was no report of a rainy day. So either-way  I decided to use the rainy opportunity and kissed her, got on one knee and of-course, proposed. She was so surprised and that made me happy. Never thought I could've pulled it off. We ate dinner in our wet clothes and the whole day was just filled with laughter. I told her about how the rain washed the words away and she couldn't help but thank the rain. She said the way it happened was the best. I was a proud man. Nothing makes me happier than the happiness of my woman.

Need I talk about the wedding day? It was exquisite. Looking at her walk down that aisle in her magnificent golden cream dress was total bliss.  I must have been the happiest man at that moment. Our favorite song, When I fall in love by Nat king Cole, was playing in the background. Fast forward to "You may now kiss your bride".. It was heavenly. I think that part went on for five minutes, no exaggeration. We were officially ready to start our life-long union. The whistle for the race has been blown. Little did we know what hurdles were on the race track for us.

One, Two, Three years of marriage, there was no child. Tests and examinations revealed that she was infertile. I was broken but for the love I had for my wife, I stood by her through it all. The news affected her so badly that she fell sick for two months. She resigned even after I told her not to. I tried to make things easier but she just wasn't having it. I started seeing a different woman in her. The love in our home was diminishing and it was beginning to take it's toll on me.

This went on for six months.

One good day, I got home and found the dining table set for us. I was shocked because I left Marie at home with her usual sadness. I had to ask what we were celebrating, she said "the re-gain of happiness." Well I definitely couldn't question her happiness so I let it go and enjoyed the moment. I couldn't let it waste after having missed it for six months, full six months.I knew I had gotten the wife I married almost four years ago back and I was elated about it. My home was lively again but Marie still failed to get a job. She said it was for the best, that she'll rather be a housewife than work somewhere she doesn't love. Once again, I allowed her to make her decision and agreed with it. 

I was helping with the cleaning of the house one weekend when I accidentally saw an envelope addressed to my wife. Call me nosy but I just couldn't refrain from opening it.The shock. I was in disbelief after reading the content.  Dashed downstairs only to find Marie's body helpless on the kitchen floor. Panicking, I dialed the emergency number. In my bid to resuscitate her, failing, the 'Rescuers'  arrived and took her away. I drove behind them. I waited for more than one hour in the hospital before the attending Doctor came to me with the much dreaded news.

Doctor: "Mr Chris, We tried everything we could but because your wife got in late, our efforts were futile. I'm sorry but your wife is dead"

Chris: I could feel the 'burden of hell' drop on my body "What? Dr. are you crazy? how could that have happened? Tell me what exactly happened"

Doctor: "Did your wife perhaps tell you she was hypertensive?"

Chris: "No she didn't."

Doctor: "Well, she had cerebral edema, which implies that the pressure in her brain was high. This pressure led to the compression of her medulla oblongata through the large hole in the skull called foramen magnum and since this is the main center needed for living, she died before she got here"

Chris: Still confused "How, how did that happen?"

Doctor: "She probably had an head injury she didn't complain about and due to her hypertensive system, the high pressure developed. I'm really sorry Mr Chris. That said, we also lost the baby. The fetus was premature and couldn't be saved."

Chris: "She never told me about the baby. I mistakenly saw the test result this morning and that was the reason why I rushed to the kitchen to query her on why she had not told me."

Doctor: "I'm sorry to hear that Mr. I understand that she probably didn't tell you because of her blood status. As you know she's Rhesus negative and I bet the fear of having a miscarriage was why she didn't tell you about it. I'm really sorry Sir. I have to attend to another patient now. Accept my condolences. Please excuse me"

Left alone to wallow in the news I just heard. I still can't believe I had the strength to listen to all the Doctor said.  At the only chance we were given to have our long desired baby, death decided to take away my rare and precious gem from me. I felt I was robbed.

A year's gone and  I still feel robbed! My life's never been the same since Marie left me. A widower and helpless. I don't know how I'll ever be able to move on. My love for Marie still burns in my heart and soul. I hope someday, even if I'm unwilling, I find the courage and zeal to accept that you'll never come back to me, my love.

Rest in Peace Marie. Your soul still ever living.