Truth Be Told

I got quite a number of messages from people interested in meeting me. I took a while to decide on time and venue because in this naija, one can't be spontaneous and most venue will ask you to pay etc. Decided on Dominos because at least we can buy pizza and merry away. It's a bit short notice but we can make it work. I look forward to meeting and inspiring everyone. Kilzes

Date: This Sunday, Nov 20

Time: 2pm

Venue: Dominos, Herbert Macaulay Way, Yaba.

"You're too big for errors
You're too wise for mistakes
You are a mighty God
Perfect in all your ways.
You were here before my first breath,
And you'll be here when nothing else is left.
You are a mighty God
Forever and always"

Dedun: It's just good to remind ourselves that God is not human that makes mistakes or false promises. Whatever plan He has for us are true and the best, perfect in His ways so we can be like Him. Even when we fall short, He will still be where we left Him. 

"You loved me in spite of my flaws
You hold me close in the midst of it all
A present help when I am in need
I'm grateful that You won't give up on me.

You love me when no one else would
You kept me when no one else could
Thank you for being God"

Before I start today's topic, I will like to apologize for my absence. I know y'all see me as superwoman but sometimes I have to drop the cape and accept I can't always multitask. The reason why I was absent was for lack of better word, writer's block. I'm a spontaneous writer and because I was so busy with Dedun's Cakes, I didn't have to time to think of blog content or even sit down to type. I've also started my Msc and that alone with the tests I have to take every week is adding to the stress. Please forgive me if I don't post regularly as I used to but if you want to be a content writer for the blog, you can contact me.

On my way to Nigeria last month, I read the in-flight magazine and one article that caught my eye was on Core Values. I can't remember vividly the writer's core values but I will write mine and maybe they will answer all the questions I've been asked these past weeks. First of, what are core values? Core values are personal beliefs unique to an individual. Your core values define you and if you stay true to them, the person you are/will become will revolve around that core. It is of high importance that these core values are positives according to the law governing the world because if they are negative, it only means you are a negative person, pretty simple. I believe when you know what your core values are, you will fight to keep that core intact since they keep you going in life.

Below are my top five core values..

• My faith: I've been a Christian since I knew what a church was even though I was born into a Muslim-ish family. Thing is nothing was defined, my mum was born into a royal family (so trad/islam religion) and my dad is a Christian. I was never forced to pick one as only my dad practiced a religion actively but I grew up following my neighbors to church and I picked the Christian faith. After primary school, I was sent to a missionary boarding school and that was when my personal encounter with God started. After hearing/witnessing bizarre things happen, it wasn't difficult to be convinced that there's a higher power. To cut the long story short, I've always held my faith tightly because I knew who I am is based on that which I hold dear, my Father in heaven. Of course, revolving around your core will bring you the highs and lows but as long as you remain in the orbit, you won't lose your core connection (abeg physicist don't start with me o)

• Honesty: I don't know how to lie because I believe I will always get caught. Anyone that knows me can testify to this. I crave honesty and I practice honesty hence why I detest being lied to/ liars. I stay away from people that lie to me, I mean I literally cut them off because I don't want to be affected negatively and cultivate the habit of lying. I stay true to this value by reminding myself anytime the option of lying comes up that "honesty is the best policy" 

• Continuous learning: Until life stops, every lost second is a lost opportunity to learn, either continuous learning or learning something new. Never stop learning! I cherish learning so much and it has brought me this far too. My curiosity to learn and try something new got me to develop my hidden skills. I have a belief that everyone has talent(s), in different categories, but you will never know your talents and skills if you don't take that step to learn and try something new. The most common setbacks with this value is the fear of trying and taking risks. In my pursuit to learn, I specifically searched for conferences in Nigeria for the period I will be here, months before I even bought a ticket. The only risk I didn't take was to pay for the not free ones but what if I told you I forgot I registered for a conference and I only remembered when an email was sent the week before. This conference, Excellence in Leadership, was mind-blowing. I sacrificed money to leave my residential city, extra hours of sleep just so I can learn from people above me and boy did this sacrifice pay. What I'm trying to say here is that one has to keep learning as a bid to grow and sacrifices will have to be made. It's one of my values and if it's not yours yet, please consider it and add it to your list. 

• Excellence: I'm a firm believer of "whatever you do, do it excellently well". (Please don't yimu and say I'm not doing the blog well) whatever you do excellently well will yield excellent result, it might take a short or long time but you will definitely reap what you sowed. 

• Love: I know most of my friends say I'm not romantic but I don't think romance equals love. Love is a sacrifice and you have to sacrifice to get results.  If love is one of your core values, it will show in your friendships, relationships, work, education, your relations with strangers etc

Hi people. How have you been? No really, step back for a moment and think about it. I do hope you've been doing well and you have every reason to smile. This post is a short one. Have you heard this song by Tosin Martins? Here's a listen.


This is a song of gratitude. It captures (to an extent) my words at the moment. Another song that does that is Onise Iyanu (Dedun featured it here), in fact the mix of that song and You are God (done here). I hope you enjoy the song just like I do.
Have yourself an amazing weekend.

Jesus joy,
Dew

(I apologise on Dedun's behalf for not posting regularly).

"...With our hearts surrendered here
Come and breathe on us and change the atmosphere"

This TMNS topic was originally planned for last Saturday. My devotional was talking about envy and when I got on Instagram, I also saw a few posts about envy and I figured those were signs for me to talk about envy on the blog until my internet data decided to have a mind of it's own and ruined my parade. Back to the topic of discussion for the day, let's dissect Envy. 

I remember when I was younger, I had this book titled "Seven Deadly Sins". I can't remember the content fully but Envy, a.k.a covetousness, was one of the deadly sins. Envy can be a result of yearning for other's possessions or it can stir up chronic jealousy against someone. It's so easy to commit this sin especially when the person being envied is close to home e.g a friend, family member or partner. It can also be due to a case of "see finish syndrome" where one has seen the worst in the other person and doesn't believe something good can still come out of that person.

I've written so many times on how our individuality is centrally located in our mindset. Envy stems from the mindset and our mind controls us. When the mindset is conditioned to believe we don't have enough or we are doing poorly in life, discontentment takes over the throne and in return discontentment births envy. In some special cases, someone that seems to have it all can still be jealous of another. They get jealous of someone else not because of what that person has but because of how they got it (the easier way perhaps). Envy can blow into something as disastrous as suicide or depression if not taken care of the minute it rears it head. Before I write a long intro, I will briefly discuss how you can overcome envy. 

• Evaluate yourself: Honestly, this should be the first thing you should do anytime you find yourself deep in thoughts, wishing you had what someone else has (especially when it's from a jealousy angle) Find out why you feel that way and what you can do to stop your mind from wandering in that direction. 

• Count your blessings: For real, if you keep focusing on what you don't have, you will lose what you have. Counting your blessings will help you to focus on what you have, appreciating them and keeping them. 

• All fingers are not equal: My mother used to say it a lot when I was younger. I can't remember my mum ever mentioning if my mates leading my class have two heads. She never, not once, compared me to others and I'm forever grateful for that. We are all unique and everyone is in a different journey, some shorter, some longer. The goal at the end of the journey might be somewhat similar for some but it will always be a different approach to get that goal. Next time the thoughts of envy/jealousy cross your mind, remember your story has not ended.  You are not equal to your neighbor. 

• Always find a reason to celebrate: Make sure you celebrate any progress made, this helps to keep the focus on you. Have the mindset of celebration. Reward yourself, when you form this habit, you'd realize you look forward to accomplishing every goal that you now have little or no time to look over someone's grass. Still on celebration, rejoice with those that rejoice. Don't let your neighbor's success/celebration derail you from your own purpose. Celebrating with others is also a way of opening your arms to welcome your own celebration when it comes. 

• Eliminate gossips: Most times we don't even realize we care about another person's paths until it's brought up as a topic of discussion. After taking into account, the opinions of fellow gossipers, the seed of envy has been sown into your heart. Before you know it, the time you should have used to think of how to progress, you find your mind wandering to thoughts about  how he/she did it (so quick or so well) and end up comparing yourself to that person. You have to eliminate people that find time to talk ill about the success of others. People that deliberately sow the seed of jealousy should be gotten rid of immediately.

• Keep your core values and focus on those: I already have a topic on Core Values in my draft. I will talk about this point on that post but in a nutshell, stay grounded and disciplined with you in focus and no one else. 

• When all these fails, confide in someone that can help you: Trust me, there are cases of Chronic Jealousy that can be linked to organic cause. Some people can just be envious of others with no reasonable explanation, not because they lack or can't have what that person has. It will help if one doesn't keep this to oneself and discuss it with an experienced individual that can help deal with this bad trait.