Truth Be Told

This TMNS topic was originally planned for last Saturday. My devotional was talking about envy and when I got on Instagram, I also saw a few posts about envy and I figured those were signs for me to talk about envy on the blog until my internet data decided to have a mind of it's own and ruined my parade. Back to the topic of discussion for the day, let's dissect Envy. 

I remember when I was younger, I had this book titled "Seven Deadly Sins". I can't remember the content fully but Envy, a.k.a covetousness, was one of the deadly sins. Envy can be a result of yearning for other's possessions or it can stir up chronic jealousy against someone. It's so easy to commit this sin especially when the person being envied is close to home e.g a friend, family member or partner. It can also be due to a case of "see finish syndrome" where one has seen the worst in the other person and doesn't believe something good can still come out of that person.

I've written so many times on how our individuality is centrally located in our mindset. Envy stems from the mindset and our mind controls us. When the mindset is conditioned to believe we don't have enough or we are doing poorly in life, discontentment takes over the throne and in return discontentment births envy. In some special cases, someone that seems to have it all can still be jealous of another. They get jealous of someone else not because of what that person has but because of how they got it (the easier way perhaps). Envy can blow into something as disastrous as suicide or depression if not taken care of the minute it rears it head. Before I write a long intro, I will briefly discuss how you can overcome envy. 

• Evaluate yourself: Honestly, this should be the first thing you should do anytime you find yourself deep in thoughts, wishing you had what someone else has (especially when it's from a jealousy angle) Find out why you feel that way and what you can do to stop your mind from wandering in that direction. 

• Count your blessings: For real, if you keep focusing on what you don't have, you will lose what you have. Counting your blessings will help you to focus on what you have, appreciating them and keeping them. 

• All fingers are not equal: My mother used to say it a lot when I was younger. I can't remember my mum ever mentioning if my mates leading my class have two heads. She never, not once, compared me to others and I'm forever grateful for that. We are all unique and everyone is in a different journey, some shorter, some longer. The goal at the end of the journey might be somewhat similar for some but it will always be a different approach to get that goal. Next time the thoughts of envy/jealousy cross your mind, remember your story has not ended.  You are not equal to your neighbor. 

• Always find a reason to celebrate: Make sure you celebrate any progress made, this helps to keep the focus on you. Have the mindset of celebration. Reward yourself, when you form this habit, you'd realize you look forward to accomplishing every goal that you now have little or no time to look over someone's grass. Still on celebration, rejoice with those that rejoice. Don't let your neighbor's success/celebration derail you from your own purpose. Celebrating with others is also a way of opening your arms to welcome your own celebration when it comes. 

• Eliminate gossips: Most times we don't even realize we care about another person's paths until it's brought up as a topic of discussion. After taking into account, the opinions of fellow gossipers, the seed of envy has been sown into your heart. Before you know it, the time you should have used to think of how to progress, you find your mind wandering to thoughts about  how he/she did it (so quick or so well) and end up comparing yourself to that person. You have to eliminate people that find time to talk ill about the success of others. People that deliberately sow the seed of jealousy should be gotten rid of immediately.

• Keep your core values and focus on those: I already have a topic on Core Values in my draft. I will talk about this point on that post but in a nutshell, stay grounded and disciplined with you in focus and no one else. 

• When all these fails, confide in someone that can help you: Trust me, there are cases of Chronic Jealousy that can be linked to organic cause. Some people can just be envious of others with no reasonable explanation, not because they lack or can't have what that person has. It will help if one doesn't keep this to oneself and discuss it with an experienced individual that can help deal with this bad trait.