All A Man Wants For Christmas: Chapter 4
10:37:00 PM
"…you’re the embodiment of that world. You love it, it’s food and drink to you, it’s your whole life.
(he again made a movement to speak and was stopped by her raised hand)
"But that’s only part of why I have to leave. You’re surrounded by women who see you as the means to get into the business. Beautiful women – talented, young, ambitious… and we’ve laughed in the past at what some of them will do to get your attention. I’ve been there when you’ve been blatantly
propositioned. I know how far some of them will go. I didn’t like it then and I still don't like it."
(she was trembling and took a sip of her coffee)
"Then I could be everything you need, now I can’t, we have to be honest here, to face facts. You have
a crippled wife. You, the head of the entertainment business. When we have to attend functions and dinners and walk the red carpet and so on I’d be hobbling along beside you. There might even come a day when you might be pushing me on a wheel chair or I’d stay at home watching from
afar, wondering which starlet was trying her luck that night. I’d turn into someone I don’t want to be and in return you’d change. I don’t want us to end like that, far better a clean break now while we still care about each other and have good memories to look back on."
He was staring at her as though she was mad, and now nothing could have stopped his next words.
Zeke: "THIS IS RUBBISH, ABSOLUTE RUBBISH!! (he bit out with controlled fury) This isn’t you and I you’re talking about here. What we have is stronger and better than the people you’ve painted, and these supposedly beautiful women you’ve gone on about – what are you if not beautiful? Inside and out.
Mandy: "But I’m not, Zeke. Not anymore.." (she was white as the snow outside but determined to make him see) "I have scars – angry, red, puckered things that are gouged into the skin you used to say was like honey-colored silk, and they’ll always be there. Oh they might fade someday, but they’ll still be ugly until the day I die. This isn’t going to go away."
Zeke: "I don’t care about your scars, only in as much as they affect your
perception of yourself" he added softly
Mandy: "You haven’t seen them" (she stared at him dying inside)
Zeke: "And whose fault is that? When I asked to see them you went all hysterical and I was thrown out of the room and warned not to mention it again. You’d show me when you’re ready, they said. But next thing I know, I'm warned visiting you at all is doing you more harm than good, and if I care about you I have to give you a breathing space. Well if the ‘breathing space’ resulted in these damn fool ideas you’ve got I should have carried on visiting. I love you, dammit – every part of
you, scars and all. I resent being labeled as some pathetic bozo who will bed any woman on offer, that’s not who I am and you know it."
Mandy: (her temper rose) "I didn’t say that."
Zeke: "That’s exactly what you said" (he was breathing hard and still furiously angry)
"Okay, let me ask you something. What if it had been me in that accident? What if I’d been the one having the operations and months in the hospital? What if it was my legs? Would you be looking around for someone else?"
Mandy: "Of course I wouldn’t and you know I wouldn’t"
Zeke: "Then why the hell do you think I would? And what makes your love so damn superior to mine? Because that’s what you’re insinuating, however you dress it up, and I resent that."
Mandy: "You’re twisting my words" (she said helplessly on the verge of tears)
"I never said my love is better than yours."
He looked at her trembling lips, at the bruised blue shadows under her eyes from where she hadn’t slept and her too slim frame where the weight had dropped off her, swearing softly he pulled her into him careless of where they were.
Zeke: "Don’t cry" (he muttered thickly) "I don’t want to make you cry, I want to love you and care for you and make it all better. But you’re driving me mad, woman. Stark, staring mad. I’ve
nearly gone insane the last few weeks. I even resorted to coming to the hospital at night and sitting outside in the car park just to be near you. Crazy, eh? But that’s how its been."
She relaxed against him for a moment and drew away from him. She made herself finish the coffee. After a moment or two, he did the same but his eyes remained fixed on her delicate features as he drank.
Zeke: "This has something to do with your grandmother" (he said after a little while) "you know that, don’t you? A damn big part too."
Mandy: (caught unawares, she shot her gaze to meet his)
"What on earth are you talking about? My grandmother has been dead for years."
Zeke: "I know she brought you up and you loved her but she wasn’t exactly a fan of the male species, from what you’ve told me. She never let you forget that your father walked out on your mother and your grandfather’s affairs were mentioned everyday. Isn’t that right?"
Mandy: "Everyday is an exaggeration"
Zeke: "Not much of one. She drip-dripped the poison of her own bitterness for years. You know she did. She couldn’t get over the fact that he left her in the end, even though she’d put up with his roving eyes most of their marriage."
Mandy: (she lifted her soft chin and glared at him anew) "And why should she have forgiven him? He was a hateful man. I’d have taken him to the vets for a certain operation if he’d been my husband"
A flicker of smile touched Zeke’s mouth
Zeke: "I’ll bear that in mind" (he said gravely) "but the truth is her jaundiced view did some damage and made you very insecure in certain areas. Admit it. It’s the truth, Dee, and you know it."
Mandy: (with a raised brow) "I’ll do no such thing. My father and grandmother’s actions have
absolutely nothing to do with this situation."
Zeke: "It isn’t a situation, Dee" (he said grimly) "It’s our marriage and regardless of what you say, their unfaithfulness has a huge bearing on how you see me. Did you ever expect us to make old bones together? Did you? Deep, deep inside, in your subconscious. I don’t think you did but that didn’t matter because I intended to prove you wrong and I wasn’t going anywhere, I’m
still not." (he was confusing her, muddling everything up and it wasn’t fair)
Mandy: "I just know I can’t do this anymore, Zeke" (she said wearily) "Us, our marriage, I can’t."
1 comments
Interesting read.
ReplyDeleteYou know I'd love to hear from you. Please comment. Mwah