Truth Be Told

Since we just concluded Relationship series on the blog, it will make sense to talk about heart break. I know we've all been there. Whether you did the break up or you were broken up with, you must know what it feels like to be heart broken. I'm actually wondering how one can get over a heartbreak. I've had my fair share and the first one was a disaster really but eventually after a year and some months, I finally got over it. People say if you want to get over someone you should remove them from all your social media platforms but dare I say it doesn't work that way? I mean I did that for the previously mentioned heartbreak and it still took me over a year to get over him. Since I'm still in a process of another one (sigh!!), I can't guarantee you that these points will work for you, I no be heartbreak expert but you can try. So how does one get over an ex?

• If you haven't read my How To Love Yourself post, you need to. It will help you if you put your feelings and emotion first. Love and live your life. 

• Address the hurt. Don't just ignore it and continue your day. If you need to rant to someone, do so and if the emotions build up and you need to cry, better cry as loud as you can. No shame in physically expressing your hurt. Perhaps you feel you don't have anybody to rant to, you can use the Support Page and I can call you if you don't feel typing will help. 

• If you get bored and miss the way the ex used to message you on a regular, then replace that with your friends. Disturb their phones with random messages lol. It's not the same but at least you won't have long periods of a silent phone and your mind will not focus on the ex.

• Put your energy into something you love doing. I think you can already guess what I've put my energy in.

• Please don't start new unhealthy habits. It won't even help you in any way and it's only temporary. I learnt the hard way. Don't lose yourself because you lost an ex you 'loved'.

• Don't blame yourself. Just accept that life happened and if you still strongly feel it was your fault, forgive yourself and accept that you also make mistakes.

• Don't go searching for a rebound. You are just digging a deeper grave for yourself if you think a rebound will help get over an ex. Don't play yourself.

• Make new friends, go out there and be happy.

• When all else fails and even before you try these things, let go and let God. This is the most important one for me and I'm trusting God's process. :)

• I don't know if messaging the ex once in a while to check up is advisable especially because the circumstances surrounding a break up will be different. But if it was a non-disastrous break up, you can message just to genuinely check up because sometimes when you completely ignore and the person randomly messages you, it builds up another level of hurt/emotion. This goes without saying that it will help if both parties check up, if not the 'checkee' will be on the receiving end of mixed emotions. Abeg if this point is not clear, just ignore lol not too important but sha don't message 'I Miss You' oooo

• Perhaps it was a disastrous break up, just have your mind set that you are never going back. Trust me, when you have your mind made up that it's over and done with, it will help your moving forward goals. You realize you can't sulk and wait for "maybes, ifs", You will push ahead and focus on more important things. Even if it was a cordial breakup but your mind game is set on not going back, it will go a long way to help you get over the ex. 

• People say it's good to get closure but what exactly do you need to close again? Jamb Question

• Never say never to a new relationship but before you start a new one, make sure you are completely healed from the last, have a list of do's and don'ts for this new one and follow it strictly. Remember the lessons of the past and don't repeat same mistakes. 

She was lost in thoughts. Thinking and planning as always. She involuntarily took her pen and wrote down everything she ought to do in the next month. Out of her never ending list was the plan to at least meet the man of her dreams. In her mid thirties and still single,  Seun couldn't help but question herself. Needed to know exactly why she wasn't attracting men. Ok she was, but they weren't her kind.

She knew better than to settle for the least. CEO of a respectable brand. She was established, rich but still unhappy.  In retrospect, she remembered her encounter with Segun, the man she was in love with for a very long while. He was a business partner and their friendship had kicked off on the right note.

She already knew she would agree to date him if he asked. Almost a year later, Segun had not asked if they could date but was showing affections like he was interested. She was glad that they had a good foundation for a relationship since they were good friends. She waited patiently for the moment that never came.

Months later,  Segun invited her to a dinner and she was so elated she thought "this is it"... On getting there, she realized they had company.