The Guest Post column is a way of having other writers share their thoughts on the blog, and from time to time, I will update the column. If you would like to be a guest writer, please contact me. The first post is by a good friend of mine, Dr Joan Fabiyi. She successfully finished from the University of Debrecen, Hungary in 2014 and currently working in Ireland. After a couple of years in the "real" world, she decided to share these lessons that are of utmost importance to maximize your stay in University. Like my high school proprietor used to say, "Don't let the school pass through you, you should pass through the school" In other words, don't just go to school to learn different courses and ignore your personal growth. This post is definitely one to bookmark and I hope you learn from them. In no particular order,
Study! Study! Ask for help early enough! You need to study your textbooks, notes and other relevant materials. I could say everyone studies in uni but the question is WHEN? From the beginning of the semester, middle or 2 days before the exam? Buckle down, create a timetable if possible to review your coursework. You will definitely need this skill later in life when trying to find a balance between working full time jobs and pursuing other interests such as studying for professional exams, businesses, raising a family etc. Study to KNOW not just to pass! It comes back to hunt you if you don't. Taking exams e.g USMLE, PLAB, ACCA, ICAN in your later years or as a postgraduate will require some of the things you learnt in uni. You will need that knowledge to save you some study time.
Don’t take any chances of exams for granted: In my uni, one has 3 chances to pass an exam, if you don't, you've failed the entire course and can repeat the year depending on if its a major pre-requisite for the next year. I came to Med school after been a 'student of distinction' throughout high school, thinking you don't need that much chances to take an exam before passing! If you did, it meant you weren't that bright, hmmm..funny girl! After failing a few times, I was humbled and studied my butt off. 3 chances can go in a blink of an eye, learn to pace yourself.
If you fail, TRY, try again! You can't afford to give up on your dreams. You didn't come this far only to come this far. Go all the way! Some of us had to take one step back, to take 2 steps forward. You can achieve that goal! . Uni creates tough people not quitters! Always remember that there are greater challenges ahead.
Don't rush into a relationship: I know not many people would agree with this (as some look forward to this in uni). YES you are now free to enjoy your life without any parental oversight BUT do exactly that ALONE!! In your young years, it should be all about you. Develop your mind, find yourself, know your likes and dislikes, build principles, find God, live alone, study your books, eat out alone (my fav), enjoy your own personal company before entering a relationship because believe it or not, once you are in one, your time is shared and very often than not, if you don't know yourself, you can't accommodate someone else hence a failed relationship from the get go. Moreover, your early school years should be all about you and your books! If you are bored (main reason why some people start dating in uni), hang out with your other friends, watch series, read inspirational books etc.
When you eventually get into a relationship, don't hide it: When the right people know about your relationship, it gives you the chance to be accountable. If you do hide, it's probably because you know you shouldn't be in the relationship,and you are probably not proud you are with this guy/girl. Hiding opens doors to unnecessary issues e.g Violence and/or abuse! Yes Violence occurs in uni amongst people dating, unplanned pregnancies, abortions etc which may be avoided when you are accountable to a friend/leader/parent. Sometimes, it's not even your decision, the other person can tell you "let's keep it quiet for now and see where this goes" WRONG! Ask yourself why you are in the relationship if the relationship doesn't have a positive purpose.
Get rooted in a student fellowship! I cannot overemphasize this point. Having people there to pray with and for you, hold your hands and encourage you when down, advising you when you going the wrong path, building one another in the word and the things of God and many more is GOLD! Believe me when I say you need God when you are young because this is your foundation to a successful life.
Pray and Fast: Learn how to communicate with God by yourself. Don't always wait for an elder, leader, pastor, brethren, friend to pray for you. There's noting better than having a personal relationship with God and fast too. Fasting strengthens your faith and spirituality.
Travel: Luckily if you are in a Schengen State, your study permit allows you entry into other states in the Schengen/EU. Please make use of this opportunity! Uni is the perfect time to travel (There's time and most times it's funded by your parents/sponsors via your monthly stipend). Go out and see the world before you settle into your career. When you start working, your time belongs to your employer and you will get so caught up with the demands of life that there traveling for fun will be the least of your worries.
Always address people the way you want to be addressed: Learn communication skills! The real life is still outside uni. If you are the type of person that keeps it "real" by always saying your mind anytime, anywhere you feel like, you might want to dial it down a notch. Be slow to speak, quick to hear and on the flip side, if you are one who finds it difficult to express yourself verbally, find time to practice in your privacy.
Learn to Share: Share knowledge, skill, time, food, entrepreneurial ideas etc. As the saying goes, "No one is an island". You don't have to have it al before you share, life is about sharing what you do have. I believe the more you give, the more you receive. Be kind to one another. Sharing is caring.
Learn to Share: Share knowledge, skill, time, food, entrepreneurial ideas etc. As the saying goes, "No one is an island". You don't have to have it al before you share, life is about sharing what you do have. I believe the more you give, the more you receive. Be kind to one another. Sharing is caring.
Plan for post-uni life early: Time goes by really fast! Even if you don't have specific plans, have options laid out so as not to be caught unawares. It just serves as having a path you can follow.
Save money: Another point I can't overemphasize! I know 'Dad/Mum/Sponsor' are so generous to your pockets now. But they will start expecting you to take some responsibilities after graduation. Save as much as you can, save whenever you can. Dedun wrote an excellent post on how to save on this blog. you can read it here. You savings can fund your trips, start a business, help with any emergency, make an investment etc. but make sure you discipline yourself not to use it unless the NEED arises.
Start a small business if you can. Be a solution provider! I remember in my 1st year of uni, I would go all the way to Budapest (2.30hrs away) to get my hair done, imagine the money, stress and time wasted. Until some wonderful people came to my uni few years later and started the business. If I knew how to make hair then, I probably would be an Hungarian millionaire now...hehehe. There are plenty business ideas around now; hair, make-up, baking, photography, YouTube vlogs, tutoring, blogging, personal trainer etc. And the great part is once you start, you can always continue wherever you may find yourself later. I knew few friends who put themselves through uni, paid their rents when parents or guardian couldn't due to unforeseen circumstances, all from the businesses they started! However, always find a balance!! You are in uni to study (main objective), don't get carry away by the money you are making!
Don’t be too quick to put someone in a box: Give people the benefit of a doubt, don't believe everything you are told about someone you barely know. Ideally 1st impressions do matter but sometimes, some people need 2 or 3 chances for you to understand who they really are (both negatively & positively). Keep an open mind, always!
Forgive easily: In life, many people will hurt you especially your friends, you need to learn to forgive and it should go beyond you verbally saying it to the person that hurt you. Don't wait for or plot opportunities to retaliate. Forgiveness makes you free of the hurt and if possible, it helps develop better trust/understanding between both parties. Dedun also wrote on forgiveness here.
Find a sport you enjoy/ Join inspirational groups: You get to socialize with different people. One example in my uni then was a football team (FC Strickaz), these guys came together, really enjoyed playing football and created a bond from there. There are various sports like that in uni, If you don't fancy any, start one! Added bonus is body fitness while doing what you enjoy. Inspirational groups are also perfect for socializing and at the same time, bonding with people that aren't your friends. If you can't find any, you can also create one.
Enjoy yourself: Life is full of ups and downs, challenges and victories. This is the only life you get to live, make it worthwhile and live for a great purpose but always remember to do everything in moderation, think and pray before you make decisions, prioritize your plans and lastly, be safe.
Thank you all for reading, learning, sharing. God bless!
Joan Fabiyi. MD
